Death and end-of-life-planning is treated as a sad, serious, and teary eyed discussion. However, if you are living every day fully you have no regrets.
I remember taking my mother out for a shopping trip. It was very difficult for her to keep a happy face because of pain. She was happy sitting in her wheelchair and having me bring her clothes to look at.
She had asked me to find a simple new bra. When I finally located one that she liked she said "that one is great but could you come back and get it if I am still here in a month?" She went on to say "the one I have that I like is good for that long."
"But mom, I am happy to buy it for you" was my response.
"Dear, you don't understand. The return policy is only a month and I don't want to waste it." She started laughing uncontrollably. Tears were running down her face.
"Are you okay Mom?" I asked.
"Why yes Deb. I haven't had a good laugh in way too long. And I am enjoying every second of it."
Even at a deathbed or funeral, It is okay to laugh. It is okay to blunder.. The process of death is part of living.
Let me share a few stories I have witnessed at funerals:
Have you ever been in a funeral where the person near you figures out that s/he is at the wrong place? And that person is crying?!
Or you arrive late when there are two funerals going on in the same building? So you duck into one and sit down thinking that you recognize people. Then it turns out that it is service for a woman and you are there out of respect for your grandfather!
Nervous laughter makes people do funny things. A friend and I were in the funeral hall showing respects for an aunt. Yet our tears turned into laughter. It was that uncontrollable type of laughter that makes people turn around and stare.
In our attempt to stop laughing, we starting coughing. Then everyone around us started coughing and no it wasn’t covid (another joke). My cousin came out of nowhere and said “they are allergic to those flowers. He removed them from the room to have others whispering behind his back “but they were plastic.”
Laughing about death is a natural occurence. Death is a part of life. Laughter may provide the necessary relief. Isn't that nice?
